Best quote of the day:

Every life needs a soundtrack; even if no one else can hear it.

You are worth it all!

Just as a snowflake melts away as soon it reaches the palm of my hand,

So have you disappeared and vanished from life like a vapour in the wind.

How long does it take for you to realise?

Must you go down this path; even if it hurts Papa to let you go?

 

Oh yes, Papa has decided to let you go.

He did all He could for you.

But you would not listen, nor did you turn your head to look at His face…

His ever glorious face showed grief instead.

 

I cannot call out and ask you to return.

There is no point in it.

Love has been burnt into ashes…

It seems – wasted.

 

He, keeps silent.

Though His heart cries out for you.

You know the way to the Cross,

Therefore no one will hold you back from going the other way.

 

You slide away like the sand on the seashore.

Our hearts cannot hold it in any longer.

We will move on.

We will not look back.

 

Nothing is like seeing the face of our Beloved!

Our lives are embedded in the palms of His hands.

Nothing escapes His fury eyes.

But do you know Him?

 

His heart is for you.

He wants to capture your heart.

He said He would be all that you want Him to be, and even more!

He is the greatest Lover of all!

 

No one may understand you.

No one may know what you are going through.

No one may even remember your name.

But there is One, who knows you through and through.

 

My Lord Jesus died for you.

It is not a small cause; we are the greatest cause of all.

But He said it is worth it all to give us His everything.

Till today, He still thinks you are worth it all.

 

*In this time of advent and this season of life, this poem is dedicated to my close friends out there. (You know who you are.) You are loved and thought of much! Peace be with you.

...till the last snow falls to the ground

The first snow arrived in November.

And the weather began to change.

Nothing has changed; it is still cold.

I open my eyes to find that everything has gone white.

There’s not a trace of footprints,

Nor a living organism in motion.

And I begin to hear the snow falling...

Variation of its fall is seen as it falls from heaven.

I do not find what I’m looking for.

Not a sigh, not a sound, not a breath…

In a moment, all I see is You.

You who made the heavens and the earth.

You who made rain and snow to fall from the sky,

And to water the earth.

So shall Your word be, You said.

Your promises will not return to You void;

It will accomplish that which You purposed.

I am waiting… I am still waiting…

How long will it take, my Beloved?

I long to hasten that which You have promised; but yet

I’d rather wait for the right time.

When the season changes,

I will find what I’m looking for.

I will be here, till the last snow falls to the ground.

HOPE

It's been too long a silence and I'm finding it hard to begin...

Twenty-five and moving on...

This month, I have just celebrated my 25th birthday. I did a search on the biblical significance of the number twenty-five months before my birthday. The number five signifies grace and redemption. Twenty is the number of expectation. 25 = 5 x 5  This means grace intensified. Therefore, this year God's intense grace shall be further extended upon my life as I enter a new year, a new season, a new life with Christ.

Too many happenings; I'll pick a few...

I've had quite an interesting start of the year. It wasn't smooth sailing all the way. I struggled. I cried. I prayed. I surrendered. God was indeed present through it all. He showed me a better way. I had to forgo many personal choices and preference. It's always letting 'self' die in order for Christ to reign. When I could let go and let God, it seemed like Spring came. Certainly, spring came!

Firstly, I was able to teach piano around my place of stay and I had really lovely students! Then I was accepted on a masters programme in a prestigious University (not my first choice, but God's definite choice.) The next thing that took place was a holiday with my family in Europe! It was such a blessing from God (and I didn't know when was the next round I'll see them again.) Much as I was reluctant to shift to a new city, God made provision and He made it all easy and possible for me with much pushing and help provided. (You must be thinking, she's such a 'princess'! Oh yes, Papa does pamper me as well. I'm spoilt!) Anyway as things progressed, I got another summer job and that paid for my return flight to Malaysia. Ultimately, it was such a refreshing month spent back home with family and friends. 

God, goodness and all that follows...

Perhaps... I believe more in the thorns that pricks and hurts you compared to the beauty in the rose itself. Generally, I do believe the rose represents beauty and it is beautiful. As I grew older, I somehow believed and felt more of the thorns. There's nothing wrong with it. Knowing that thorns do exist brings us back to the reality of the rose itself. The thorns are not the main theme or subject; rather the rose. Throughout my life, the prophecies that I have received reflects a common theme: God's good plan and His goodness. The good plan is still in progress and it hasn't come to completion as I know. His goodness however, exists and lasts for a long long time whether or not we believe or experience it - it is real and it is there for us to tap into it. His perfect will displays His goodness. His perfect will, includes the rose as well as the thorns. Yet, they are all GOOD. I have to remind myself not to doubt God's goodness for the sole reason that He loves me, His heart and His thoughts are for me. Would you begin to believe that for yourself today?

Psalm 139:11-13 (NIV): If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

When all hope is gone, when life seems pitch black and the cross seems invisible; this verse says that darkness is as light to God. Even in the darkness His light shines and He will show us the way home...

Defining Moments…

It has been a while since I last blogged. Honestly, I have not had the inspiration to write anything. I am in a unique season of life… though I myself am uncertain what season this might be. Life has been and is still good. There were “ordinary” days; some were “extraordinary” and others just happened to “pass me by…” This is not one of my encouraging or inspiring post but merely an update and record of my life. Please bear with me as I try to find the words to describe it.

I wanted to survive… to just survive… I wondered why it seemed so hard to just survive. Yet, I knew – this is not how it should be. God does not want me to merely survive, He wants me to be free and soar with Him. It was not easy. I went through seasons of conflicts within my spirit and soul… I know my mind had to be renewed. I needed a change of heart. I could not see, could not hear, and could not understand what God is doing or what He wants me to do. I felt lost yet not entirely lost…

I wanted to ask someone; I want to know what I should do. I wished someone would pray with me. Beyond all these, I know the best way is to directly connect to God – through seeking and praying to God by myself. Somehow, I hesitated… (As if I know not how to reach God anymore)

It came to a point where I could not bear it any longer. I started to reach my hands out to God much as I was reluctant… God helped my reluctance and He came for me. The Bridegroom is always for His bride. God always makes the first step to us even while we were lost in darkness and unworthy of Him. Did not God make the first step to us? “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son…” Even after Adam had sinned, God went into the garden to look for him. (It is not as if God does not know where Adam was hiding.)  I see it so clearly that God is wooing His Bride back to Himself in these last days.

I have not seen or heard or understood everything I wanted to find out from God. But this is what God has been teaching me: to live each ordinary day, extraordinary when I live for Him and with Him. Take one day at a time… There is too much to think or worry about that could rob my job and my place at His feet. Every moment has to be connected with the "Life wire" in order for “His Kingdom to come and will to be done on earth as it is in heaven…”

There has been a wave of dreams coming back to me - encounters with God, prayers I have prayed and promises made to God that came sweeping in. When God gives a dream, He does not just stop at the dream itself; He will see it to completion. He will stir us up and remind us of it. It seemed like a recollection of memories I have forgotten. It matters to God when we make a promise. He remembers our prayers and will bring it up when the time is right. He is God; and I am not.

On another note (*in the key on E major), I had a great time with my beloved family when they came for a holiday in May. We had a very packed schedule. Time flew; yet it felt like it stood still when we prayed together as a family. It went by so quickly that I needed time to adjust and digest the happenings… I had always wanted to show them "part of my world"; and God blessed us with this golden opportunity. I was blessed to have all of them here with me! I am sure, there will more to come. Thank you Dad, Mum, Clarence and Chrysler for coming and making yourselves available for the family holiday!

On another note (*this time in the key of C major…Ha-ha), I will be going to University of Sheffield to do my masters in September. As the blog title suggests, I believe this season contains defining moments for my future. Most importantly, these defining moments must involve God that His will may be established and He be glorified.