My heart has been overtaken…
Lately, I feel like I’m crazy. Crazy in the sense of talking to myself, laughing hard at jokes or silly things I did, crying for no reason, entertaining myself and being crazily in love with God. How else can I explain Charissa being crazy except for the fact that her heart has been overtaken by God?
Just this few days, I’ve got this weird feeling. I am happy on the outside but my heart was aching on the inside. Does that even make sense? For one moment, I can be happy under the sun; the next moment, I am overtaken by that ache in my heart. It’s unexplainable. There were times I was just talking to God as usual and suddenly I felt like crying… or rather my heart was crying deep inside. Gosh… I realised it wasn’t purely just me. I wondered if that was God’s heart in pain. It must be of God. If not, I might be labelled ‘weird’ and ‘abnormal’ or worst of, ‘emo’. But I was convicted that I needed to spend intimate time with God.
At first I was just singing and worshipping God. Then on my knees I went. Tears came… I was convicted of sin because of the slight ignorance of my conscience, complaints I made before God, and because my heart wandered away from God in some areas. I’ve not felt such strong conviction of these so called ‘little things’ or ‘slight mistakes’ I made in the daily walk of life. But just at that moment, I couldn’t resist God. I repented. It was a good experience. Now I know better - that when you’re walking so close to God, the slightest mistake or the little wrongs you do can be such a strong offence before God. That I have come to know… God takes things so seriously. After all that, I started to laugh and giggle. Ha-ha. I myself thought myself as crazy. I was laughing so hard till I couldn’t sit still in one position. For a moment, it was the joy and laughter from the Holy Ghost. I was like a drunken person… Okay, now… Charissa - drunk?? Yeah, I was somewhat drunk in the Spirit. After laughing, I continued with crying since I’m more familiar with that. It was funny in a way. I was crying and laughing and crying and laughing. “God, what’s this all about?” I asked. I was reminded of the verse in the Bible where it says: Do not be drunk with wine in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Holy Spirit. (Eph.5:18) It was quite a remarkable experience!
My heart is so overwhelmed by God’s love. It feels like there’s this fire and passion in me that wants to break out. I can’t contain it any longer… I won’t be able to… It does feel like it’s breaking me apart. I am so overwhelmed by it till I start laughing while I am walking on the streets or I start crying when I think about God. It’s gonna burst. It’s like the main gate of the water damp that can no longer hold back the accumulated water… Oh God, what am I to do? I want to break out! I wanna live with much more passion for Jesus. I can only surrender and walk in Your will. If I could have one desire – I want to be with You, forever.
There is nothing more inspiring than seeing people who understand what they were made for and are living it out, people of passion and vision. – by Andrew Poxon.
Norman Cousins said, 'Death isn't the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.'
Once again, live with passion!
Just this few days, I’ve got this weird feeling. I am happy on the outside but my heart was aching on the inside. Does that even make sense? For one moment, I can be happy under the sun; the next moment, I am overtaken by that ache in my heart. It’s unexplainable. There were times I was just talking to God as usual and suddenly I felt like crying… or rather my heart was crying deep inside. Gosh… I realised it wasn’t purely just me. I wondered if that was God’s heart in pain. It must be of God. If not, I might be labelled ‘weird’ and ‘abnormal’ or worst of, ‘emo’. But I was convicted that I needed to spend intimate time with God.
At first I was just singing and worshipping God. Then on my knees I went. Tears came… I was convicted of sin because of the slight ignorance of my conscience, complaints I made before God, and because my heart wandered away from God in some areas. I’ve not felt such strong conviction of these so called ‘little things’ or ‘slight mistakes’ I made in the daily walk of life. But just at that moment, I couldn’t resist God. I repented. It was a good experience. Now I know better - that when you’re walking so close to God, the slightest mistake or the little wrongs you do can be such a strong offence before God. That I have come to know… God takes things so seriously. After all that, I started to laugh and giggle. Ha-ha. I myself thought myself as crazy. I was laughing so hard till I couldn’t sit still in one position. For a moment, it was the joy and laughter from the Holy Ghost. I was like a drunken person… Okay, now… Charissa - drunk?? Yeah, I was somewhat drunk in the Spirit. After laughing, I continued with crying since I’m more familiar with that. It was funny in a way. I was crying and laughing and crying and laughing. “God, what’s this all about?” I asked. I was reminded of the verse in the Bible where it says: Do not be drunk with wine in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Holy Spirit. (Eph.5:18) It was quite a remarkable experience!
My heart is so overwhelmed by God’s love. It feels like there’s this fire and passion in me that wants to break out. I can’t contain it any longer… I won’t be able to… It does feel like it’s breaking me apart. I am so overwhelmed by it till I start laughing while I am walking on the streets or I start crying when I think about God. It’s gonna burst. It’s like the main gate of the water damp that can no longer hold back the accumulated water… Oh God, what am I to do? I want to break out! I wanna live with much more passion for Jesus. I can only surrender and walk in Your will. If I could have one desire – I want to be with You, forever.
There is nothing more inspiring than seeing people who understand what they were made for and are living it out, people of passion and vision. – by Andrew Poxon.
Norman Cousins said, 'Death isn't the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.'
Once again, live with passion!
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