Defining Moments…

It has been a while since I last blogged. Honestly, I have not had the inspiration to write anything. I am in a unique season of life… though I myself am uncertain what season this might be. Life has been and is still good. There were “ordinary” days; some were “extraordinary” and others just happened to “pass me by…” This is not one of my encouraging or inspiring post but merely an update and record of my life. Please bear with me as I try to find the words to describe it.

I wanted to survive… to just survive… I wondered why it seemed so hard to just survive. Yet, I knew – this is not how it should be. God does not want me to merely survive, He wants me to be free and soar with Him. It was not easy. I went through seasons of conflicts within my spirit and soul… I know my mind had to be renewed. I needed a change of heart. I could not see, could not hear, and could not understand what God is doing or what He wants me to do. I felt lost yet not entirely lost…

I wanted to ask someone; I want to know what I should do. I wished someone would pray with me. Beyond all these, I know the best way is to directly connect to God – through seeking and praying to God by myself. Somehow, I hesitated… (As if I know not how to reach God anymore)

It came to a point where I could not bear it any longer. I started to reach my hands out to God much as I was reluctant… God helped my reluctance and He came for me. The Bridegroom is always for His bride. God always makes the first step to us even while we were lost in darkness and unworthy of Him. Did not God make the first step to us? “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son…” Even after Adam had sinned, God went into the garden to look for him. (It is not as if God does not know where Adam was hiding.)  I see it so clearly that God is wooing His Bride back to Himself in these last days.

I have not seen or heard or understood everything I wanted to find out from God. But this is what God has been teaching me: to live each ordinary day, extraordinary when I live for Him and with Him. Take one day at a time… There is too much to think or worry about that could rob my job and my place at His feet. Every moment has to be connected with the "Life wire" in order for “His Kingdom to come and will to be done on earth as it is in heaven…”

There has been a wave of dreams coming back to me - encounters with God, prayers I have prayed and promises made to God that came sweeping in. When God gives a dream, He does not just stop at the dream itself; He will see it to completion. He will stir us up and remind us of it. It seemed like a recollection of memories I have forgotten. It matters to God when we make a promise. He remembers our prayers and will bring it up when the time is right. He is God; and I am not.

On another note (*in the key on E major), I had a great time with my beloved family when they came for a holiday in May. We had a very packed schedule. Time flew; yet it felt like it stood still when we prayed together as a family. It went by so quickly that I needed time to adjust and digest the happenings… I had always wanted to show them "part of my world"; and God blessed us with this golden opportunity. I was blessed to have all of them here with me! I am sure, there will more to come. Thank you Dad, Mum, Clarence and Chrysler for coming and making yourselves available for the family holiday!

On another note (*this time in the key of C major…Ha-ha), I will be going to University of Sheffield to do my masters in September. As the blog title suggests, I believe this season contains defining moments for my future. Most importantly, these defining moments must involve God that His will may be established and He be glorified.