The road less traveled...

Here I sit Staring into the deep blue sky Wondering how far You are from me I’m sure heaven could see me smile at You. A few planes flew past… I wished I could fly home For home is where my heart is. More than that, Home is here - where You are. Home, where I belong Where I came from; From whom You created And said “It is very good.” I desire to embrace You My soul longs for You My heart yearns for more of You My spirit is one with You. Who can separate us O Lord? I don’t want to be apart from You I just want to be near You Close to Your heart For Your heart captivates me In patience, I set an ambush Waiting to capture You As if I ever can… Can I hold You in my arms? Can I lean on You to hear Your heartbeat? Can I stay forever at ‘Home’? Can I be… like You? My heart thirst for something that’s real. There must be more than this… Could there be nothing else, but You? Must there be everything else, and You? It feels like forever when You are near My one desire, as always, is to be with Y...

Lately, I feel like I’m crazy. Crazy in the sense of talking to myself, laughing hard at jokes or silly things I did, crying for no reason, entertaining myself and being crazily in love with God. How else can I explain Charissa being crazy except for the fact that her heart has been overtaken by God? Just this few days, I’ ve got this weird feeling. I am happy on the outside but my heart was aching on the inside. Does that even make sense? For one moment, I can be happy under the sun; the next moment, I am overtaken by that ache in my heart. It’s unexplainable. There were times I was just talking to God as usual and suddenly I felt like crying… or rather my heart was crying deep inside. Gosh… I realised it wasn ’t purely just me. I wondered if that was God’s heart in pain. It must be of God. If not, I might be labelled ‘weird’ and ‘abnormal’ or worst of, ‘ emo ’. But I was convicted that I needed to spend intimate time with God. At first I was just singing and worshipping God. Then on...

Time flies... It's now July 2008. Sometimes I can't believe that I've been here in England for nearly half a year now because it feels like I've been here longer than that. Months before I came to Great Britain, I felt that I don't belong to my comfort zone anymore. I felt in my heart, I should be somewhere else other than in Malaysia. It was when I arrived in England, I felt so good. It was where I am supposed to be. Just last month, I felt so assured because I am in the centre of God's will for my life. I took time to embrace the call of God upon my life once again. It feels so good to know that you're right there, in the centre of His will, where He wants you to be. I reviewed my goals for 2008 last night. Wow, it has been a fruitful and profitable year. Profitable in the sense of having new friends, learning to live an independent life, learning to take care of myself, learning to do things for myself, learning to yield more to the Father, learning and o...